By: Ronald DiGiorno and Jimmy Christmas
FORT WAYNE – A Fort Wayne preacher has been scrutinized for his antics during his recent sermons, which members say only includes “provocative jokes” with “no biblical message.”
According to congregation members, Keith Jones, the head pastor at Faith Community Church, has spent the past five Sundays strictly telling corny one-liners and other jokes. Members say it was funny at first, but that it’s gone too far.
“Listen, I love Keith — he’s a great man and a great pastor,” Elder Scott Smith said. “But this has got to stop immediately! We’re sick of it!”
“If Pastor Jones can get away with slacking off like this, then I should be able to as well,” church member Denise Yap said. “I guess I’ll stop buying the morning donuts.”
But this doesn’t stop Jones — he continuously defends his antics.
“It’s not a big deal. I know God is listening, and I think I’ve heard him laugh,” Pastor Jones said.
Members say Jones gets on the pulpit, recites his jokes for about an hour, leads communion (usually with a joke weaved in), and then hands it over to the choir.
“It’s really gotten out of hand. During communion, Pastor Jones has gone as far as spraying a member with water from a fake flower like the ones cheap clowns use,” elder Ryan Brian said.
“Ethel never saw it coming,” Jones said through uncontrollable laughter.
“It was unholy. Maybe even satanic,” church member BJ Givver said.
“Jesus had a sense of humor,” Jones said. “Before I start my message, I always ask myself ‘What would Jesus do,’ and I feel like Jesus would crack some jokes. Why can’t I?”
“His jokes are not funny and they are not appropriate,” member and mother of three Janice Yannis said. “I had to pull my children out of the chapel because he kept joking about perverted sexual intercourse.”
“One Sunday he spent half an hour making jokes about anal,” Smith said.
“Hey, it’s God’s great gift,” Jones retorted.
“Also, he tends to repeat himself. I’ve heard the same joke four gosh-forsaken times,” Brian said.
“Honestly writing new stand up material gets a little hard, so obviously I’ve had to resort to some repeats,” Jones retorted.
Members filed complaints to the church elders, who, after some coercion, finally decided to confront Jones about his repeated actions.
“We called a meeting and had him explain himself. It turns out he is just practicing his stand up comedy skits,” elder Jim Powerade said.
The elders understand that Jones needs to practice his jokes, and have come to an agreement that he can only tell four jokes a sermon.
“It’s not as often as I’d like but I’ll take what I can get,” Jones said. “Sounds like sex with my wife.”
Granola Club 